New Theory on Childhood

Middle child syndrome. No such thing, because middle children are often the most strong minded, strong willed, strong natured children of them all. If this is a syndrome..then I want it. Fact. This is no syndrome, it is a middle child blessing... or curse; I am yet to decide. We see middle children sometime as the outsider, always stuck in the middle of things (makes perfect sense to me, outsider stuck in the middle). I will start with the first and last child theory. I kinda will have to mix in last and middle to really give the reading audience a good ''feel''.

-First child, only child at the time. If you don't know about only child syndrome, go to Google. This child is an only child for lets say 4 years, perfect example considering I can basically speak from experience being that my older brother is 4 years directly from me. Four years as an only child getting everything brand new, keeping it until he wants to throw it into a bag of other old useless shit that was fun for 2 years. Now sitting in this musty bag of piss stained 2 year old crap, with the guts hanging out of it. The first child only receives brand new things while growing up, never having to use a 'hand me down' as long as he lives. This style of raising is not his fault, he is ameir victim of circumstance; not knowing any better...his parents have raised him this way. Spoiled to the core, he borrows one thing; this thing stays in his possession for over 2 weeks he now owns the object. The permanent marker says it is now his with no intention of sharing. I speak the TRUTH!



-Now on to the last child. His life is simple, planned out. Parents could really care less what he does, because the other two have already worn them thin with exceptions to the rules. Proven ways to weasel out of situations that they have been in O too many times, taught to the youngest at no expense. By now the middle child has suffered through all of the piss ruined toys, and out of style clothes; only to see the youngest getting the same treatment as the old. Brand frig'n new, new socks, new shoes, new toys, even new underwear. That is just unfair. Unheard of. Down right unjust. This middle child has not only suffered through every single hand me down, but also gets the worst bit of parenting. The parents are now more strict on him, because they have seen what the oldest has done. Therefore they know how to combat this and now are able to know when to say no to experiences the middle child should get to do. As for the oldest already have getting to experience this bliss. Yet while, the middle child will break his parents down, rebelling..going against all odds. Only to fail; miserably. Leading to pissing his parents off and be grounded with the harshest terms possible. Soon to see the youngest grow up and watch the parents shrug off any wrong doing, because they have seen it out of all kids. While I am still grounded from the 4th grade now in 8th.


School, the most obvious and easiest to theory to explain why the middle child is the least academic. Simply put, the parent is already in grade 4 while the other is just starting the 'un-important' schooling. The parent helps the oldest child all the way through middle school giving them a firm study base. At this time the middle hits 6th grade. This parent is helping the oldest with freshman math, they actually have to think..after a hard days work. The middle child is screwed, who is going to help him with his homework? The parents telling him to figure it out, it cant be that hard its 6th grade math! "I just had to do Algebra, I am beat". By the time this middle child has been avoided due to how 'easy' and 'simple' his school work should have been, the oldest is graduating with honors. Only to see the parents in acceptance with how stupid the middle child is, and all hope is lost. BUT! there is still one to save! The youngest...We can help him because he is only in the 6th grade..and the parents know this study all too well.

Middle child. Obviously the worst way to go. However, I would not change me being the middle child for the world. It has helped me form into my own being, I have learned much from the streets. Very street smart. Not drug dealer street smart, or crack head street smart. The other kind of street smart. The kind that falls below the box of 'drug dealer', and 'crack head' I check the box that says Other: and write "I owe it to the streets" on the line... .. .

I have no clue where I was going with this entire street thing...This has been my theory on raising a child. Obviously the middle childrendevelope an extraordinary way to convincingly blame others. Whether it is because there was always one on each side of them to blame, or it is just something we are used to by habit. I must admit that we are all exceptionally good at it....Good Talk.

Milkshakes

I am a milkshake fiend, and I must say the best milkshake on earth is made by one of the most disgusting restaurants in the nation; Hardees. I can't even explain what they taste like, if I had to imagine licking sweat of a super model..it would probably be somewhere in that range. Kinda weird, but very delicious. Nothing to rant about, boring post but had to write something. I think if maybe I keep coming to this page and typing random things, there could be something creative come out of it. My goal for this blog would be to write 1 interesting post every 8 times I write/type. Figure that isnt a bad stat, someone that reads it once a week will get a decent laugh once..a week. Good talk.

Did that just happen?

There is not too much to complain about with life, but there are always complaints with life. The two worst things that have happened to me in the last 24 hours are only things you can look back at and laugh (as a sigh and do not crack a smile). Wal-Mart; Sam Walton no doubt a genius, however his target market had to be the complete opposite. I walk into walmart, have to grab one single thing and it literally takes 35 minutes. Not because of the lines, the slow cashier, or the time it took to find the item. No, because of all the random people that decided to get cheap thrills and entertainment by taking their children to walmart, while mommy and daddy play shopping cart bumper cars. Amazingly enough, a person can walk around wal-mart and look at the surrounding people..and not one person will be looking at the ground to where their next step is. This persons head will not be face forward, or even face up looking around. The face is always looking at the highest point in the store, the eyes wondering around to the tip tops of the shelves while they push the cart sedated by the 1000's of brands of toilet paper and plastic utensils. While I try to walk down these isles with people ramming my cart every 2 seconds, coming around corners as if it were the NCRWC (National Cart Racing World Championships). Just crazy. Which is why I prefer target to wal-mart. End.

Secondly, shorter rant than the last is movie theaters. The misses and I go to see a movie, she has obviously picked out the most sappy one in theaters. Time Travelers wife, not too terrible..but I had a bit of trouble focusing because the lady in the direct row behind us was too busy dying of black lung. Seriously I have never heard a grown woman hack so loud. She might as well had a chainsaw, starting it up every 2-3 minutes hitting the gas once or twice and shutting it off. How am I suppose to focus with this going on. If this isn't bad enough, she chimes in every 10 minutes letting the audience know what she sees. There is an emotional seen where he sees himself lying on the floor of his home dying, he is outside in the cold weather touching the glass. As the camera pulls back the hand print is left on the window from body temperature as the man vanishes into the air. The camera angle jumps to the inside and you see his hand print on the window fading back. One of those things where maybe "you had to be there" but as the camera switches to the inside shot, this old woman bless her heart if her husband was blind/deaf/dumb/asleep and she had to let him know..Anyways so the camera fades back as she tell the entire theater "OO, THE HAND PRINT!". I look to my right at my girlfriend, and cant help to do anything but crack up laughing. End.